I haven't posted in a while, there was nothing really that floated my boat, or got me so worked up that I had to make comment. Due though, to a conversation with a work colleague earlier who mentioned I hadn't posted for a while (it shows someone takes the time to read my thoughts) I decided to give it a go tonight. Plus, of course, I'm sure it gives my Libertarian friends something to occupy their lives for a few minutes at least, where they can point out my atrocious grammar (yes, I obviously went to a Comprehensive), who may have wondered if my raving lefty rants had dwindled faster than the number of friends the current incumbent of 10 Downing Street currently has.
I fervently pray, that the majority of you have some knowledge of the magnificent Fox American Broadcasting Company animated television sitcom 'Family Guy'. For those ignorant of this extremely offensive and extremely funny show, the central character is Peter Griffin. He's a bumbling, but well-intentioned, blue-collar worker. His wife Lois is a stay-at-home mother from a family of wealthy socialites. Peter and Lois have three children: Meg, their teenage daughter, who is frequently the butt of Peter's jokes due to her lack of popularity; Chris, their teenage son, who is overweight and unintelligent, and Stewie, their infant son of ambiguous sexual orientation who has adult mannerisms and speaks fluently with stereotypical archvillain phrases and an accent based on old British movie stars such as Rex Harrison. Living with the family is Brian, the family dog, who drinks martinis and smokes cigarettes.
Anyway, as I perused the Torygraph earlier (keep your enemies closer etc...) I came across this wonderful article describing the leader of the oppositions appearance on This Morning earlier in the day. Full text of article, as per post title as usual, click on the title.
'Mr Cameron told ITV viewers that if the polls were correct and he won the election, he would ensure that he had sufficient time to relax' - erm, its yours to fucking lose old son, and don't worry, because if you somehow manage to fuck this golden opportunity up it will be YOU who lost the election, not your Tory mates.
'Asked by presenter Hollys' Willoughbys (aren't they magnificent?) if he was concerned about the impact becoming prime minister would have on his wife, Samantha, and their two young children, he said: “I do worry about it but I've always believed that it must be possible to be a good father and be a good husband and to be a good party leader and a good prime minister at the same time.' - platitudes, upon platitudes, upon platitudes, ad infinitum.
'In the end, being Prime Minister is mostly about the judgements that you make and the character and the sense you bring to those big judgements and you need to be in a calm and sensible frame of mind.' - Really? No? Is it? Fuck me, YOU ARE SUCH A CUNT!
'Mrs Cameron is said to insist that he leaves the Commons early at least twice a week for a family supper, and he likes to be home for bath time once a week as well. He usually takes his breakfast with his daughter, Nancy, five, and son, Arthur, three. The couple’s oldest son, Ivan, died last year aged eight from a rare form of severe epilepsy.' - First off, being the father of a beautiful young son myself, I honestly felt for him upon hearing of Ivan's death. BUT, and it's a BIG BUT, Dear Mrs Cameron you can insist all you like love, but when DC learns that Iran has finally loosed one off in the direction of Israel, I guarantee you, he won't be home early for his fucking fish and chips supper. Secondly, when he has to honour the cheques that GB, Darling & Labour INC. have been writing these past years, he won't be tucking into his fucking Ready Break or Sugar Puffs with Nancy & Arthur of a morning.
'I thought about it again when I was walking through this unbelievable valley in Spain, and I thought: ‘You really do need some time when the head can empty, whoever you are.' - Forgive me, is it just me, or is the next dead-cert potential PM losing his fucking marbles already?
'You lose your judgment. If you are tired, you make bad judgments – simple as that.' - Empty rhetoric again, who the fuck is voting for this man in the polls? Who the fuck wants him to be the next PM?
Where was I? Oh yes, Family Guy. Have I been dreaming? have I been watching an extended Family Guy episode? Did Seth MacFarlane base Cameron on Peter Griffin? or was it the other way round?
I'm confused. My favourite line from Family Guy is:
Camhead (when he's hungover): This sucks worse than that time I went to that museum. (Flashback to childhood, standing in museum looking at dinosaur skeltons.)
Camhead (as a child): Why did all the dinosaurs die out?
Osborne: Because you touch yourself at night.
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