MR CLEAN

Mendacious.
From the Latin - mendācium (genitive mendāciī); n, second declension
1. A lie, untruth, falsehood, fiction.
2. An illusion, counterfeit.

That's all I have to say on the smarmy cunt's new year message.

Goodnight.

FAMILY VALUES

The Big Man himself is obviously a joker, especially at the time we celebrate the birth of His one and only son. Only Divine Intervention could have given us the story reported on Christmas Eve in the London Evening Standard.

David Ross is 44 years old, he is the multi-millionaire co-founder of Carphone Warehouse. He will be hosting a dinner next month for senior Conservative party figures. Mr Ross has donated £140,000 to the party, and is a key adviser on education policy. He has been tipped for a peerage if Mr Cameron becomes prime minister.

Sniezana Kobeniak is 30 years old. She is orginally from Lithuania, and has lived in Britain for at least four years. She has a mews flat in central London. She works as an escort girl. For those of you who are heard of hearing, SHE WORKS AS AN ESCORT GIRL.

Metropolitan police officers were called to Mr Ross's Belgravia home at 5.45am on Friday after Ms Kobeniak claimed to have been assaulted inside and outside the property in a row about money for "services rendered". The incident on Friday came after Ross and his 23-year-old girlfriend attended a party in Notting Hill, at which Mr Cameron himself, and his wife Samantha were guests.

Michael Gove, shadow children's secretary and one of Mr Cameron's closest allies, spoke about Mr Ross's "passion" for education. "He has devoted time, money and energy to ensuring children in the poorest areas enjoy the sort of schooling that can give them good opportunities. His heart is in the right place when it comes to public service. I hope that he will continue to be able to play a big role helping in the future."

In a speech to the Welsh Conservative conference earlier this year Mr Cameron said, "We want to see a more responsible society, where people behave in a decent and civilised way, where they understand their obligations to others, to their neighbours, to their country, and above all, to their family."

Christmas and Conservative party Family values. First fucking class. Thank you God.

Happy Birthday Jesus.

WEE WILLIE WINKIE

Onything but sleep, you rogue! glow'ring like the mune,
Rattling in an airn jug wi' an airn spoone,
Rumbling, tumbling round about, crawing like a cock,
Skirlin' like a kenna-what, wauk'ning sleeping fock.

William Miller, original text, 1841.


I have previously blogged in The Iceman Cometh and Inglourious Basterds (see below) about the dispute between Unite & BucketAirlines, the worlds' favourite airline. My main concern was with Wee Willie Winkie Walsh (annual Salary £700,000+) who was determined to prevent the industrial action by his employees (average annual salary £20,000) from going ahead. Now on BA's own website, their main tenet for preventing action was thus;

"We are commencing legal action in an attempt to protect customers (average annual salary £22,000) from the massive stress and disruption..."
"We are absolutely determined to do whatever we can to protect our customers (average annual salary £22,000)..."
"We are delighted for our customers (average annual salary £22,000) that the threat of a Christmas strike has been lifted by the court."

Really? I have 3 words for you Willie:

1. YOU
2. FUCKING
3. LIAR

Allow me if you will to quote from your own Pravda masquerading website;

"You will not be able to get a refund if you choose to travel on another airline or make alternative travel arrangements."
"We will not cover any costs if you changed your plans and recommend you contact your travel insurance company for advice."
"...if you made alternative arrangements on another airline, this will be at your own cost."
"No, we will not cover costs if you made alternative arrangements before the court ruling was held."

So there it is, his fait accompli, Wee Will Winkie has in fact been royally fucking his employees and his customers from behind for so long, he could probably do it in his sleep.

"Wee Willie Winkie" as you all know is a Scottish nursery rhyme, whose titular figure has become popular the world over as a personification of sleep. I bet Walsh and his board sleep like fucking babies.

TRANS-SIBERIA EXPRESS

According to The Eurotunnel website, you can get from Calais to Folkestone in 35 minutes. There's some lovely pictures of happy smiling passengers, with the tag "Where will you be in 35 minutes?"
Prices start at £44 per car for a day/overnight stay. There's even their commitment to "Green Energy" with a statement from The Carbon Trust Standard which certifies that Eurotunnel has genuinely reduced its carbon footprint. And? So? What? I hear you say.

Quite right, enough of the free advertising for these idiots.

Oh, and before any smart arse points out that Eurostar & Eurotunnel are totally different, guess what? They both use the same tunnels. I have an acquaintance, honestly, who believes that there must be different tunnels and routes because one departs London but arrives in Paris, with the other leaving Folkestone, and arriving in Calais. I didn't have the heart to tell him the Calais terminus is actually in Coquelles, as that would have contributed to the equivalent of Chernobyl going off in his poor brain. I digress.

In case you've been on holiday to Hawaii and hadn't noticed, it's rather chilly in the Garden of England at the moment. I mean we've had a weeks notice that Arctic conditions would sweep in from Siberia and give us a right old taste of the Gulags' favourite climate. It is a TUNNEL after all, so no problems there with the weather. You'd expect a 21st century, state of the art transport franchise to be prepared for a dusting of the white stuff wouldn't you? WRONG YOU FUCKERS!

Some 2,000 travellers were stuck without light, air-conditioning, food or water after the trains broke down in the tunnels for over 16 hours yesterday. There's more misery predicted today as both companies do "test runs" to see if all systems are go for Monday.

Eurostar chief executive Richard Brown (I bet his pants were brown when he received the phone call telling him, "Boss, you're not going to believe this, but...)" said the trains failed as they left the cold air in northern France and entered the warmer air inside the tunnel. This is the 21st century you fucker. As a species we have explored the temperature extremes of Space, we've established permanent bases at both Poles, my 3 year old son has a fucking Meccano set that survives his bathtime routine. What the fuck have your engineers been doing with the zillions of Pounds & Euros you've suckered off the British & French governments?

Back to my opening paragraph and their website. Surely it should read Calais to Folkestone in, erm, fuck knows? Pictures of pissed off mum & dads berating their pissed off children. Prices include a full refund of your ticket price and a free ticket to enjoy the train journey from hell again in the future. As for the carbon footprint reduction, how about, we don't have a carbon footprint, because we don't fucking travel anywhere?

INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS

I really am fucked off with this one. The wording of the statement by BA is just incredulous, the smug basterds (I know it's bastards but I feel like going on a Tarantino inspired tourettes spree).

Before I get going though, let me assure you dear reader, I am not a BA employee, nor am I a member of Unite. I couldn't give two shits what happens to Walsh & the world's favourite airline, I'd rather fly with BucketAirlines. I am a simple human being.

There is currently another on going industrial dispute, not yet widely reported, but you will no doubt hear about it very soon, that has involved Management obtaining an injunction to prevent a strike going ahead. This time, employees found out that without any consultation whatsoever, Management intended to remove up to £5000 from their hard earned wage packets. To Managements complete surprise a ballot was conducted that resulted in excess of a 90% 'Yes' to strike action. You can guess the rest, an injunction was duly obtained due to 'irregularities' with how the ballot was conducted, to prevent the planned day of action going ahead.

I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that any board of directors can easily obtain an injunction from some red robed Muppet in a wig, after all, they're all probably in the same lodge, and enjoyed tickling each others erect phalluses with a feather when they joined the lodge after leaving Eton.

What concerns me is the complete lack of respect for their employees, and lack of negotiations. They talk about their poor customers who they've being having anal intercourse with anyway since time immemorial. Where does 'old style militancy' come into it? The Unions are simply defending their members hard earned contracts and living standards.

For further reading about how a government wages war on its own citizens one should read David Peace's gut wrenching GB84.

As Hunny Bunny said "Any of you fucking pricks move, and I'll execute every motherfucking last one of ya!"

THE ICEMAN COMETH

Read the link above then tell me how Willie Walsh pocketed an inflation busting 6% pay rise last year, despite the airline in June this year posting its largest ever loss and and is planning thousands more job losses.

Walsh, who did not receive a bonus last year (poor love), was paid a basic salary of £735,000 – up by 5% from £701,000 the previous year. Including benefits, he scooped an overall pay increase of 6% last year. BA also topped up his pension fund by £90,000, compared to £81,000 the previous year.

BA today said it hoped to take legal action to prevent the strike that would "protect customers from the massive stress and disruption" threatened by the 12-day stoppage.

Sorry, Willie, aren't you the same William Walsh who presided over of the shambolic opening of Heathrow Terminal 5? Your business is about saving your own skin, pure and simple, nothing else, you couldn't give a toss about your customers.

For BA to seek an injunction, to prevent their own employees taking last resort industrial action to protect their own welfare, is a desperate last throw of the dice. Tell you what, here's an idea, 'Negotiate' don't go whining to the Judiciary. Earn your obscene salary by protecting your blessed customers, and protecting those employees who will never earn your annual salary in their own lifetimes.

A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG

Joel Bradley is 12 years old, he was recently suspended from Liverpool's Cardinal Heehnan High School. What was the crime I hear you ask? Drugs? Racism? Violence? No, he was suspended for allegedly selling packets of the popular crunchy potato snack, Discos, to his school chums. Yes, you heard me the first time, HE WAS SUSPENDED FOR SELLING CRISPS TO HIS MATES IN THE SCHOOL PLAYGROUND.

The lad was punished for having the entrepreneurial skill of selling the 15p packet of crisps for 35p more than their value, thereby making himself up to £15 a day on top of his pocket money.

The headmaster of said school follows the strict regime of the Jamie Oliver fronted campaign to rid the country of evil fatty drinks and snacks, to the letter. The headmaster said "We are a healthy school and proud of it."

YOU FUCKING WHAT?
He's 12 years old, and was selling crisps to his mates, he wasn't knocking out ecstacy tablets or Ketamine.

Okay, he had some form m'lord, it was the second time he'd been nicked for the same offence, and his father had previously been caught selling evil canned drinks, and evil chocolate bars from a van, when the local shop had closed down.
The headmaster has further admitted the school has a problem with six or seven regulars, also at it.

What's my point? Oh, fuck it, I'm off to Lilliput.

HOW I LEARNED TO STOP WORRYING AND LOVE THE BOMB...

or, how I learned to shaft the tax payer and earn twice what the PM does. This particular article (click on title) from the Daily Hate (not my favourite toilet roll) sums up the current farce.

Whilst one cannot criticise Azad Ootam himself in his quest for monetary recompense, one has to question how the finances can be justified on the back of the current plight within the Civil Service of the rank and file working on the front-line.

Serious concerns over all matters financial including managers constantly telling them there's no money in the pot and to cut back, here, there and everywhere, yet they read stories like this every single day now.

Remember the scene in Dr.Strangelove when Slim Pickens ends up straddling the nuclear bomb and rides the bomb to the ground like a rodeo cowboy, whooping and waving his cowboy hat? That's how the front-line civil servants must feel, the outcome you see, is inevitable.