A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG

Joel Bradley is 12 years old, he was recently suspended from Liverpool's Cardinal Heehnan High School. What was the crime I hear you ask? Drugs? Racism? Violence? No, he was suspended for allegedly selling packets of the popular crunchy potato snack, Discos, to his school chums. Yes, you heard me the first time, HE WAS SUSPENDED FOR SELLING CRISPS TO HIS MATES IN THE SCHOOL PLAYGROUND.

The lad was punished for having the entrepreneurial skill of selling the 15p packet of crisps for 35p more than their value, thereby making himself up to £15 a day on top of his pocket money.

The headmaster of said school follows the strict regime of the Jamie Oliver fronted campaign to rid the country of evil fatty drinks and snacks, to the letter. The headmaster said "We are a healthy school and proud of it."

YOU FUCKING WHAT?
He's 12 years old, and was selling crisps to his mates, he wasn't knocking out ecstacy tablets or Ketamine.

Okay, he had some form m'lord, it was the second time he'd been nicked for the same offence, and his father had previously been caught selling evil canned drinks, and evil chocolate bars from a van, when the local shop had closed down.
The headmaster has further admitted the school has a problem with six or seven regulars, also at it.

What's my point? Oh, fuck it, I'm off to Lilliput.