FAMILY VALUES

The Big Man himself is obviously a joker, especially at the time we celebrate the birth of His one and only son. Only Divine Intervention could have given us the story reported on Christmas Eve in the London Evening Standard.

David Ross is 44 years old, he is the multi-millionaire co-founder of Carphone Warehouse. He will be hosting a dinner next month for senior Conservative party figures. Mr Ross has donated £140,000 to the party, and is a key adviser on education policy. He has been tipped for a peerage if Mr Cameron becomes prime minister.

Sniezana Kobeniak is 30 years old. She is orginally from Lithuania, and has lived in Britain for at least four years. She has a mews flat in central London. She works as an escort girl. For those of you who are heard of hearing, SHE WORKS AS AN ESCORT GIRL.

Metropolitan police officers were called to Mr Ross's Belgravia home at 5.45am on Friday after Ms Kobeniak claimed to have been assaulted inside and outside the property in a row about money for "services rendered". The incident on Friday came after Ross and his 23-year-old girlfriend attended a party in Notting Hill, at which Mr Cameron himself, and his wife Samantha were guests.

Michael Gove, shadow children's secretary and one of Mr Cameron's closest allies, spoke about Mr Ross's "passion" for education. "He has devoted time, money and energy to ensuring children in the poorest areas enjoy the sort of schooling that can give them good opportunities. His heart is in the right place when it comes to public service. I hope that he will continue to be able to play a big role helping in the future."

In a speech to the Welsh Conservative conference earlier this year Mr Cameron said, "We want to see a more responsible society, where people behave in a decent and civilised way, where they understand their obligations to others, to their neighbours, to their country, and above all, to their family."

Christmas and Conservative party Family values. First fucking class. Thank you God.

Happy Birthday Jesus.